Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
im calling her cock vulture from now on
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
