Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
