Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
