I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
