So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
