he referred to my room as the tit cave...
He passed out mid-signature
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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