that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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