you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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