and my herpes radar will keep us safe
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I'm both gender and math confused
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
