Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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