Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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