and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
