You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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