It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
