We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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