Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
