now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
