dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
