didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You've changed since you got that strap on
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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