I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
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