i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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