and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
