just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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