i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
