She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
