I can't breathe out the right side of my face
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
sex in a hospital.. check
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
