almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
