Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
