i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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