mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
