Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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