Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
