People in love make me want to vomit
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
