is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
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