"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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