are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
