I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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