They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
