the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
