it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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