I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
