Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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