what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
