Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
