Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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