ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
