Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
