i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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