I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
