This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
